Sober Chick

Here are the unleashed pages of a sober chick in recovery. My journey (date of sobriety) began on June 13th, 2005. For 29 years of my life I was spiritually sick. Emotinally defeated by drunken black-outs, bulimic binging and purging episodes and self-mutilation, I finally surrendered.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Fear, NO MORE!


"All these failings generate fear, a soul-sickness in its own right."
12 Steps and 12 Traditions, p. 49

Before I walked into the rooms of AA, I thought my self-will was my only weapon in the war against my alcoholism and bulimia. I was strong in many other avenues in my life, yet I could not claim victory over this battle. Each time I would fight, I would get beaten down by the Beast. This loss generated so much FEAR. The FEAR increased after each failure. The Beast grew strong and it wanted to destroy me, all of me.

Then there came a day when my tactics began to evolve in this battle. All I had to do was surrender. By surrending to this war no longer would I have to shelter this FEAR. It was not just about me anymore. I do fight a battle each day but it is not aimed at alcohol or bulimia. My battle (an energetic attempt to achieve something;), along with my fellow recovery soldiers, is to grow spiritually each day. Our weapons: AA & the 12-Steps -- all guided by our own interpreation of an Higher Power.

todAAy i am thAAnkful & grAAteful 4:
* A solution that is spiritual, little did I know
* The ability to listen, read and write
* The happiness I feel today -- that I can feel sad and still continue to walk
* Boot Camp, Session 2
* My beau, 4 cats and Dog (and that she is not having diarrhea anymore, poor mommas)
* My mom and my brother -- my Big Book my brother bought for me at my first AA meeting
* Laughter, Laughter, Laughter
* The fellowship Live and onLine.
* That I have a God to my understanding today

9 Comments:

At 4/18/2006 6:33 PM, Blogger Mary Christine tells all . . .

Wow. What a wonderful post. Surrender to win. What a life-saving concept.

 
At 4/18/2006 6:41 PM, Blogger dAAve tells all . . .

Nice posting.

Thanks for putting the Sobriety Society banner up and I love the colour.
Glad your dog no longer has diarrhea. I hate it when shit happens.

 
At 4/18/2006 7:50 PM, Blogger butterflygirl tells all . . .

God is grateful to have you understanding Him. He will continue to give you strength and courage each day.

 
At 4/18/2006 8:02 PM, Blogger Da Gal tells all . . .

You sound so happy and joyful in the gratitude list. I love it. Thanks for being here and for being you. You are an inspiration.

 
At 4/18/2006 9:52 PM, Blogger Sober Chick tells all . . .

Just popping in to say I love you all!

I posted the Sobriety Society Banner up. I created a rollover to the original color. If you click on it you will be taken to the OG concept created by dAAve and the explantion of our wonderful community. Thanks for all you do dAAve!

I love getting to know everyone. You are real and transparent -- you are wonderful!

 
At 4/19/2006 7:04 AM, Blogger Lex-Sunshine tells all . . .

I'm going to borrow some of the peace I found here with you today. & I'm linking you from my blog - hope that's ok, let me know if its not!

 
At 4/19/2006 7:16 AM, Blogger Christine tells all . . .

Have you heard of a book "God Calling"? I would recommend it...
Whenever two or more of us are gathered-- I'm so blessed with your on line fellowship. Thank you

Enjoy your today

 
At 4/19/2006 2:32 PM, Blogger Shannon tells all . . .

I am an expert in fear... or at least I think I am... when I got here I was soo full of fear, and driven by a 100 forms of fear...

 
At 4/19/2006 11:28 PM, Blogger White Magpie tells all . . .

Attagurl!! Will to power.

 

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