Fear, NO MORE!

"All these failings generate fear, a soul-sickness in its own right."
12 Steps and 12 Traditions, p. 49

Before I walked into the rooms of AA, I thought my self-will was my only weapon in the war against my alcoholism and bulimia. I was strong in many other avenues in my life, yet I could not claim victory over this battle. Each time I would fight, I would get beaten down by the Beast. This loss generated so much FEAR. The FEAR increased after each failure. The Beast grew strong and it wanted to destroy me, all of me.

Then there came a day when my tactics began to evolve in this battle. All I had to do was surrender. By surrending to this war no longer would I have to shelter this FEAR. It was not just about me anymore. I do fight a battle each day but it is not aimed at alcohol or bulimia. My battle (an energetic attempt to achieve something;), along with my fellow recovery soldiers, is to grow spiritually each day. Our weapons: AA & the 12-Steps -- all guided by our own interpreation of an Higher Power.

todAAy i am thAAnkful & grAAteful 4:
* A solution that is spiritual, little did I know
* The ability to listen, read and write
* The happiness I feel today -- that I can feel sad and still continue to walk
* Boot Camp, Session 2
* My beau, 4 cats and Dog (and that she is not having diarrhea anymore, poor mommas)
* My mom and my brother -- my Big Book my brother bought for me at my first AA meeting
* Laughter, Laughter, Laughter
* The fellowship Live and onLine.
* That I have a God to my understanding today