God + Recovery = Gratitude
I went to Ed's meeting last night. I shared and was honest about my "funk." I felt vulnerable, isolated in a room full of 12 other alcoholics. It's like I can't let anyone see that I am feeling sad or anything else besides a happy, joyous and free recovering alcoholic. I feel that I have to wear a smile on my face and create the illusion that I am working a "Perfect" program.
I know this will pass. I have to remind myself this entire thing is a process. I was instructed to begin making gratitude lists. I see many of you online recovering peeps do this. I will attempt to follow in your footsteps.
todAAy i am grAAteful 4:
~ Budda Belly and our morning routine. She hangs out with my in the bathroom while I get ready 4 work.
~ Ed's Meeting: Alice D and her hug last night and the few words "How's my girl?" & Jimmy C, 4 making me laugh and feel welcomed last night.
~ My animals and each night they wake me up because of nocturnal behavior
~ That today is my Friday. Taking the next 2 days off to celebrate Mitch and my 2 year anniversary. Seems like we have been together so much longer. Guess that is what happens when Alcoholic meets Al-Anon. LOL
~ Bootcamp and the soreness I feel today from the Murph Circuit training (Apparently Murph did these with a 45 pound bullet proof vest and regular gear during war, TORTURE!!!)
~ All the onLine peeps in recovery and showing me, one day at a time, how it is done.
~ The new blogging Peeps I am meeting
~ The new coffee machine in the lobby that is free, 10 flavors and frothy. WOW, I am in Heaven!
~ Weekly dinner at Tidal Wave with Mitch. I embrace the Czardas live music. This is one of my favorites they play:
9 Comments:
keep up the good work!
I know all about the "putting on a smile" thing.
I see you,
JJ
It sounds like you suffer from comparing your insides to others' outsides... everyone is in the same boat here. One drink away from a drunk. One day at a time.
I'm grateful that you post the truth....
I'm grateful for your kind words on my blog.
I'm grateful that your profile that says: "I am ok now, I have God!"
Mike
Good list and great cat!
I hope you feel happier soon.
Mary Christine hit the nail on the head and you also saw that in my list of things about me. You asked how I stop doing that. The answer is this... progress, not perfection. When I find myself looking at someone and comparing my insides to their outsides I catch myself and tell myself to stop. The second thing I do is go talk to that person... especially if its a recovery person and say, I am feeling ____ what did you do when you felt like that? I think you will be amazed to find that most of your feelings are not unique. This too shall pass. Take gentle care. I'm adding you to my lil blog roll. :)
Hi everyone, I just wanna say how much you mean to mean that you make time and check out my blog. I speak about you wonderful recovery support team to the fellowship I participate out here in S. California.
You all are so beautiful!
You defnitely have lots to be grateful-don't ever forget.
oooohhhhh I love kitties xoxoxox
yours is a real beauty!
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