Sober Chick

Here are the unleashed pages of a sober chick in recovery. My journey (date of sobriety) began on June 13th, 2005. For 29 years of my life I was spiritually sick. Emotinally defeated by drunken black-outs, bulimic binging and purging episodes and self-mutilation, I finally surrendered.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Alive in the sunlight of the spirit

Olive, Mamas, Babas, Old Lady, and so many more! This is Olive, she is so beautiful.




~ My mom came to my work to get some direction. Today my mom values my opinion and we can talk like mother and daughter.

~ Last night Mitch and I went to dinner, came home and watched the Fantastic 4 in bed with our animals. We laughed so much, not at the movie, just because . . .

~ I got a raise last week. My work is being recognized and complimented. My design and creativity is progressing too as I walk no longer in the dark.

~ I took a nap yesterday with all of my animals. They all snuggled with me on the bed as we slept to the howling Santa Ana Winds. I left a window opened as we nested together warm and protected.

~ I lost 10 pounds with no binging or purging. I lost 10 pounds by actually feeding myself.

~ The obsession to drink has been lifted. I sat at a bar the other night waiting for a table and felt no pressure that I would act upon what will kill me. I was being amused by the drinkers at the bar and tahnkful that thier actions were keeping me sober.

FEAR
I don't want to loose this. In some way, my guard is down. Will that mean something will happen??? My shield not there to protect me leaving me vulnerable? Ah, but for all my life I had this guard and still was vulnerable. I say I am fearful, but not really. Fear is holding that shield, being blocked from the light of the spirit. The shield is not mine to own anymore.

Today I can embrace all that I have in my life. Sometimes I am baffled at those that struggle so much with thier sobriety, They go in and out, or are so miserable. Why is such grace shedded upon me?

3 Comments:

At 1/24/2006 5:17 AM, Blogger Trudging tells all . . .

Sounds like all good stuff.

 
At 1/24/2006 6:15 AM, Blogger Sam tells all . . .

It is definitely all good stuff!

 
At 1/26/2006 2:53 AM, Blogger dAAve tells all . . .

The daily reprieve of Spiritual fitness is all we need. No artificial guards necessary.

Nice post.

 

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