Sober Chick

Here are the unleashed pages of a sober chick in recovery. My journey (date of sobriety) began on June 13th, 2005. For 29 years of my life I was spiritually sick. Emotinally defeated by drunken black-outs, bulimic binging and purging episodes and self-mutilation, I finally surrendered.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Growing Sucks sometimes :(

So Buddy, the kitten formally known as "Hope" is back with us. I am dealing better with him departing us soon. I found a potential owner in Venice, sounds great.

I went to a meeting with a sober sister on Tuesday. It was awesome! It was created for a person who cannot leave his home to attend meetings due to back surgery. I really liked it and will be going next week. The thing I liked the most was spending time with Alice. I have a fear of people, and recently I discovered by working with my sponsor that I "hide" by loving my animals too much.

I am aware of my passion, and have a somewhat different opinion but forced myself to look at what she said. Growing sucks and I came to many realizations. I discovered that I feel safe with a military style approach to working my program. I may set myself up for failure by doing so based on my past behaviors of this agenda I set forth. God's timing is perfect, and I see the sequence of events occur in my life as part of this growing experience. I am ok today.

So, I went with Alice and was soooooo nervous before -- I was in my head. When she got there all this went away and I was actually able to enjoy her company and have a great time at the new AA meeting.



In addition to stepping out of my comfort zone, I am going with some of the girls to see a play tomorrow. This is not like me and although I am nervous, I know the outcome will be a reward I cannot imagine yet.

I am grateful for my life today, God thank you.

I take my 6 month chip in 5 days. WOW, half a year, what a miracle.

2 Comments:

At 12/11/2005 5:00 AM, Blogger Trudging tells all . . .

"Pain is the touchstone..."

 
At 12/11/2005 6:46 AM, Blogger Scott W tells all . . .

Contatulations on six months!

 

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