The Newcomer

I wrote most of this to my sponsor this morning:

I went to a new meeting last night in Pasadena, a women's participation on Ave 64. Alice is the secretary and was so excited that I said I was going -- no backing out of that. It was a great meeting. The messages said were enormous. There was this one newcomer that spoke at the end. She had 18 years of sobriety. During this time she never had blackouts, was in trouble with the law, etc. She went out for 8 months. During this time she drank every day, Vodka by herself. She got kicked out of a bar, would live in blackouts, and rolled her car 5 times. Then she was put in jail.

She did not want to share or come back to AA. However she did, and everything that the Big Book said about the progression of the Dz is true. It was amazing to hear her and I get goose-bumps thinking of her story. You know, I never had been so thankful for that newcomer as I was to see her.

My outlook at relapse is changing -- slooooowly. I get upset, a resent, when someone goes out. Like the situation with Victoria and me, I forget that they hurt just like me and are no different. I am no different and such a resentment will take me out . . .

I wrote Alice to tell her how much I look up to her. She is a great role model. She is everywhere in her program being a service and doing for others. She has many friends in the program and does things -- such as stand up comedy, this is new for her, so gutsy -- different to fight her illness. She asked me if I would be a part of a panel on Monday at the Salvation Army in Arcadia. I was honored that she asked me. So, on Monday I will be doing this!!!!

I am grateful today for my life, my family, my friends, AA and my sponsor. You know I am most grateful that I can be wrong. When I am wrong I now know that means I can remain teachable. I don't like to be wrong :) but would rather have growth.

"I pray every day that I will avoid my previous actions, so that I will be helpful to others."
Daily Reflections p. 359

One more thing to be grateful for -- the online community of bloggers that share their experience, strength and hope -- you all are miracles!!!