My Heart Hurts :(

I cannot help but to feel so sad. Hope's potential owner is coming Friday and Tank's on Saturday. I get my heart broken this weekend. Oh God will you keep them in your hands and keep them safe. I have to trust God right now, and I am having a difficult time doing so. It is like I want to play God and make sure that these people can love them like I love them. My love is not the only love though -- selfish and self centered I can be . . .

I am so scared that they will go without -- thinking I need Al-Anon! I feel like I gave birth to these kittens LOL. They are such a sparkle in my life, and I will miss their physical bodies. I keep looking at their pictures and video clips . . .

This is that part about love that I don't like. Both parties agreed to keep me posted on their little lives. I was telling Mitch I hope that I do not come off like a stocker (sp ??) -- it is not like I will be looking in their windows at their house and seeing them live. Oh my, the possibilites of this little alchoholic.

It is Mitch's Birthday today, what a special day. How blessed I am to share his 31st birthday and to reflect on how much we have grown since my sobriety begun. He has been such a great supporter with the kittens. How blessed I am to have a man that not only loves me unconditionally but has a genuine, compassionate and giving heart.

No purging yesterday, I am grateful for this. Thank you God for your Grace, and thank you for allowing emotions to thrive in a human soul.

129 Days Sober :)
6 Days Abstinence

I am grateful today.