Sober Chick

Here are the unleashed pages of a sober chick in recovery. My journey (date of sobriety) began on June 13th, 2005. For 29 years of my life I was spiritually sick. Emotinally defeated by drunken black-outs, bulimic binging and purging episodes and self-mutilation, I finally surrendered.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

My Heart Hurts :(




I cannot help but to feel so sad. Hope's potential owner is coming Friday and Tank's on Saturday. I get my heart broken this weekend. Oh God will you keep them in your hands and keep them safe. I have to trust God right now, and I am having a difficult time doing so. It is like I want to play God and make sure that these people can love them like I love them. My love is not the only love though -- selfish and self centered I can be . . .

I am so scared that they will go without -- thinking I need Al-Anon! I feel like I gave birth to these kittens LOL. They are such a sparkle in my life, and I will miss their physical bodies. I keep looking at their pictures and video clips . . .

This is that part about love that I don't like. Both parties agreed to keep me posted on their little lives. I was telling Mitch I hope that I do not come off like a stocker (sp ??) -- it is not like I will be looking in their windows at their house and seeing them live. Oh my, the possibilites of this little alchoholic.

It is Mitch's Birthday today, what a special day. How blessed I am to share his 31st birthday and to reflect on how much we have grown since my sobriety begun. He has been such a great supporter with the kittens. How blessed I am to have a man that not only loves me unconditionally but has a genuine, compassionate and giving heart.

No purging yesterday, I am grateful for this. Thank you God for your Grace, and thank you for allowing emotions to thrive in a human soul.

129 Days Sober :)
6 Days Abstinence

I am grateful today.

2 Comments:

At 11/09/2005 1:49 PM, Blogger adam hoallow tells all . . .

Interesting blog you have here... I think I'll add you to my favorites. With your permission I'll be coming back. I'll also tell a couple friends of mine because they'd like this...

great job making this blog (good design!), keep up the good work!

~ have a nice day.
check out my blog or my french kiss site if you want.

 
At 11/09/2005 1:51 PM, Blogger Jackie tells all . . .

Congratulations on staying sober!!!!

As for the little guys, I am sure God has found them wonderful homes.....you have given them a wonderful loving start!

Love and Hugs,
Jackie

 

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