Sober Chick

Here are the unleashed pages of a sober chick in recovery. My journey (date of sobriety) began on June 13th, 2005. For 29 years of my life I was spiritually sick. Emotinally defeated by drunken black-outs, bulimic binging and purging episodes and self-mutilation, I finally surrendered.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

In the Light Again

"...we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others."
Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

The solution to my dilema yesterday is simple. I stepped away from Faith yesterday, not a big step that caused me to fall but I did stumble a little. I am able to gracefully step back into the light today -- oh and how it illuminates my soul.

Last night I went to bed at 7:00 p.m. I woke up only to pee throughout the night. I woke up at 5:15 a.m. to get ready for work. That's like 10 hours of sleep. WOWSERS! I don't hear voices in my head anymore, I can sleep with no TV or radio on in attempt to mask out my ludicrousness thoughts. I love the harmony of silence.

todAAy I embrace grAAtitude:
- that God will do for me what I cannot do for myself
- I can listen to my body and mind requesting sleep to refresh it. I can sleep not because I am exhausted from a drunken state or because of the BPs episodes.
- that Mel asked me to give her a cake this coming Thursday
- that my sober sister Alice's comedy stand up rocked the roof top and that she is falling in love with a member that happens to have 20 plus years under his belt. WOW!
- my Mom, for showing me what to do and what not to do
- that my little brother is finding peace and acceptance of our spiritually sick father
- Christmas Cartoons
- Dark Chocolate
- tomorrow I will have 7 months of abstinence from Bulimia
- You, I cannot do this alone and need spiritual mentorship from those trudging along with me :) Thank you.

15 Comments:

At 6/06/2006 4:46 PM, Blogger Diego tells all . . .

thanks for your honest appraisal of yourself.....I get a feelin' that its difficult to put into words except to say that HP is real and so are you......have a great evening...

 
At 6/06/2006 8:10 PM, Blogger Da Gal tells all . . .

Beautiful post SC. I found words in your post that have only lived in my head before I saw them here. "I don't hear voices in my head anymore, I can sleep with no TV or radio on in attempt to mask out my ludicrousness thoughts. I love the harmony of silence." Is a completely new concept to me in the past few years. I never realized how busy I made my life and how loud I ensured that it was so I wouldn't have to listen to my gut and my higher power.

Congratulations on the 7 months. You've worked hard and you're worth it! My hand is in yours...

 
At 6/06/2006 8:33 PM, Blogger Mary Christine tells all . . .

So glad to read you sounding happier. Oh, I didn't comment yesterday about the picture - you are beautiful!

 
At 6/06/2006 9:06 PM, Blogger Grateful tells all . . .

I loved this post. Very honest, insightful and full of gratitude.
Thanks for sharing the beauty of your thoughts.

 
At 6/06/2006 9:36 PM, Blogger butterflygirl tells all . . .

Faith-how we need to have it. Sober Chick you have so much faith, more than you know. Without this faith you would have never made it as far as you have today. Continue to keep the faith and ask God for the strength, guidance, and courage-He will give it to you!

 
At 6/06/2006 9:55 PM, Blogger ~MsManna~ tells all . . .

I agree your post was beautiful. I need to take the time to rest my body. I do keep myself so busy and it does a job on me. I am very hard headed concerning getting my rest. I think you have great faith as well. It is encouraging to see God working in your life.
And oh my goodness! Dark Chocolate is on my list too!!!!!
:)

 
At 6/07/2006 9:10 AM, Blogger Tab tells all . . .

I love the sounds of silence...
so safe and soothing.
You sound like you are feeling good about life and not afraid to show it.
It is so inspiring for me to read peoples journey's because they are all so unique and the up's and down's seem to balance them eventually.I just love how much you share with us too Sober,you help us see we too can keep on keeping on:)
As for the dark chocolate ,
I can only say Cha!!!!!!! hehehehe
Have yourself a fab day and keep up with that good nights sleep stuff!
Thanks for sharing~

 
At 6/07/2006 10:11 AM, Blogger BigSkymAAck tells all . . .

It feels good to be able to see where we have stepped aside then get back into the sunlight of the spirit. Hey like Mary I think you loof good as well,

 
At 6/07/2006 7:24 PM, Blogger Shannon tells all . . .

I am glad you got some rest!
thanks for reminding me not to drift in to worry... I need to think about that a lot lately
I am grateful that we dont have to drift into to

 
At 6/07/2006 8:14 PM, Blogger Scott W tells all . . .

Silence is the true friend that never betrays.~Confucius

Congrats on the abstinence!

 
At 6/08/2006 6:33 AM, Blogger Scott tells all . . .

I too stepped outta the light of Faith, it happens. The great thing is that feeling of stepping back in... Faith/HP are always there, it's up to me to stay connected... I do well sometimes, I do not so well sometimes... I guess that's that great lil gift of Free Will HP gave to me and you! Great post, thanks!

peace to you

(I still prefer to have the TV on when I go to bed... I have the IBSC [itty bitty sh*tty committee} that likes to hold the occasional board meeting at bedtime)

 
At 6/08/2006 10:07 AM, Blogger NMAMFQLMSH tells all . . .

"...we must be careful not to drift into worry, remorse or morbid reflection, for that would diminish our usefulness to others."
Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

OMG......thank you thank you. I need that.
I see you,
JJ

 
At 6/09/2006 3:06 AM, Anonymous Anonymous tells all . . .

I'm happy for you that you're back in the light dear,
xoxo,
Tia
psychbaby.com

 
At 6/09/2006 7:24 AM, Blogger Gwen tells all . . .

That silence has got to be one of the best gifts of sobriety! What a blessing.

 
At 6/10/2006 9:27 PM, Blogger Falter Ego tells all . . .

sleeping without the music...I am looking forward to that. I have 5 months of sobriety for the first time since I was 13 years old. I am 31. This has been amazing but I am in a rough patch right now...I know I don't want to drink or use right now but I am suffering with terrible pain and I want to get away from it!!!

 

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