I can give Love!

I made a little movie about my babies. We had Asia & Budda since they were a week old. We got to bottle feed them and nurture them. A few days after we got them, I woke up in a panic, I knew something was wrong. Asia was meowing in their crate as if trying to alert me of Budda. I discovered Budda was in labored breathing. I picked her little body up, so listless and cold. I took her to TLC (e-clinic), they placed an IV catheter and put her in the oxygen tank. Dr. Munson was truthful and told me most likely she would not make it. She was so little and not stable. She had fluid in her lungs, not good even for a healthy adult cat.

That was the first day I started my new job (where I work today). I still was sick and very active in my drinking. I had no God or any knowledge of program at the time. I was struggling at trying to get this sober thing right all by myself. I began to realize that I could not stop, I wanted to from the all my heart and soul, but, you know how it is. I did not want to loose Mitch, another job (I was fired a few months before from a great job for my alcoholic behavior), my animals, you know, all those things that the drink will take away. Least to say I was a mess.

Three days later Budda pulled through and we got to take her home. Today she is the most sensitive & submissive of all our animals -- strange given the fight she had at such a young age. Since then I have taken on 2 more kittens, Hope & Tank, built a website of the experience and found them homes. The experience was easier because I was in program (thank you God for sponsorship), and had Faith in God. I miss them and wanted so badly to keep them but I had to LET GO -- my love is not the only love.

Ok, I just wanted to share a little of my World with you, now on to my gratitude list:

todAAy i am thAAnkful & grAAteful:
- to see April take her year cake at Crown on Friday night & to be a part of the beautiful group of women that gave her the cake
- for Alexis, to be growing closer to her, to be able to tell her all of my secrets, to love and be loved by her unconditionally, to see her grow in her program
- that although I changed careers, I am so blessed that I have the knowledge and experience in veterinary medicine enough -- I really miss that environment
- for Mel's initiative towards creating the SIA meeting, for Mel's friendship
- for the Newcomer to the SIA meeting on Saturday and her courage to find recovery towards her self injury and eating disorder
- my email I got from newcomer blogger Leela, thank you for your courage
- that I know my mood is now due to pre-PMS :) -- SUCKS!
- that I am powerless over my period and activity of my ovaries, Blah!
- CC Deville, I get goosebumps and HOPE watching him in the SuREAL Life. I hope he gets it, I pray that he gets it.
- for all the recovery support, here in California and onLine