Sober Chick

Here are the unleashed pages of a sober chick in recovery. My journey (date of sobriety) began on June 13th, 2005. For 29 years of my life I was spiritually sick. Emotinally defeated by drunken black-outs, bulimic binging and purging episodes and self-mutilation, I finally surrendered.

Sunday, May 07, 2006

I can give Love!



I made a little movie about my babies. We had Asia & Budda since they were a week old. We got to bottle feed them and nurture them. A few days after we got them, I woke up in a panic, I knew something was wrong. Asia was meowing in their crate as if trying to alert me of Budda. I discovered Budda was in labored breathing. I picked her little body up, so listless and cold. I took her to TLC (e-clinic), they placed an IV catheter and put her in the oxygen tank. Dr. Munson was truthful and told me most likely she would not make it. She was so little and not stable. She had fluid in her lungs, not good even for a healthy adult cat.

That was the first day I started my new job (where I work today). I still was sick and very active in my drinking. I had no God or any knowledge of program at the time. I was struggling at trying to get this sober thing right all by myself. I began to realize that I could not stop, I wanted to from the all my heart and soul, but, you know how it is. I did not want to loose Mitch, another job (I was fired a few months before from a great job for my alcoholic behavior), my animals, you know, all those things that the drink will take away. Least to say I was a mess.

Three days later Budda pulled through and we got to take her home. Today she is the most sensitive & submissive of all our animals -- strange given the fight she had at such a young age. Since then I have taken on 2 more kittens, Hope & Tank, built a website of the experience and found them homes. The experience was easier because I was in program (thank you God for sponsorship), and had Faith in God. I miss them and wanted so badly to keep them but I had to LET GO -- my love is not the only love.

Ok, I just wanted to share a little of my World with you, now on to my gratitude list:

todAAy i am thAAnkful & grAAteful:
- to see April take her year cake at Crown on Friday night & to be a part of the beautiful group of women that gave her the cake
- for Alexis, to be growing closer to her, to be able to tell her all of my secrets, to love and be loved by her unconditionally, to see her grow in her program
- that although I changed careers, I am so blessed that I have the knowledge and experience in veterinary medicine enough -- I really miss that environment
- for Mel's initiative towards creating the SIA meeting, for Mel's friendship
- for the Newcomer to the SIA meeting on Saturday and her courage to find recovery towards her self injury and eating disorder
- my email I got from newcomer blogger Leela, thank you for your courage
- that I know my mood is now due to pre-PMS :) -- SUCKS!
- that I am powerless over my period and activity of my ovaries, Blah!
- CC Deville, I get goosebumps and HOPE watching him in the SuREAL Life. I hope he gets it, I pray that he gets it.
- for all the recovery support, here in California and onLine

13 Comments:

At 5/08/2006 12:28 AM, Blogger Katy tells all . . .

Hello my friend,

I'm sitting at my computer with a waterfall of tears falling on my keyboard because of your video and post... God really does provide what we need when we need it, yet it still always amazes me.

I just sat down to post something about my kitty cat "Montgomery", on my blog and for some reason decided to read yours first. Now I know why...

My baby boy is very ill and I'm so sad tonight because I don't know if he's going to make it. He's been my little baby for almost 15 years and I feel like I'm about to lose my best friend. I'm trying so hard to surrender my worry & fear because I know I need to trust that God will get me through this, but it's really hard. I know God will take him when it's his time, I just don't want it to be that time.

You're babies are beautiful by the way... Isn't amazing how a single animal can brighten your world with unconditional love and an understanding that is pure. Thank you for your words... They always speak so deeply to me. I'm so very grateful to call you my friend!

Katy
xoxo

P.S. I would love to email you but not sure how we exchange that without exchanging it with the world?

 
At 5/08/2006 9:13 AM, Blogger NMAMFQLMSH tells all . . .

Great movie SC. I just heard a report that CC Deville not only made through the whole Surreal life without drinking or drugging but is still going strong. Unfortunately, Tawny (did I spell that right) is in rehab again.
I see you,
JJ

 
At 5/08/2006 9:55 AM, Blogger Designer Girl tells all . . .

Awwww! Your babies are so adorable!!

 
At 5/08/2006 6:56 PM, Blogger butterflygirl tells all . . .

Thanks for sharing. I wish I had my cat-he stayed with the ex.

 
At 5/09/2006 10:04 AM, Blogger Christine tells all . . .

you are so creative and so loving
I am so envious

 
At 5/09/2006 11:41 AM, Blogger recoveryroad tells all . . .

Coooool.

:-D

x

 
At 5/09/2006 6:53 PM, Blogger dAAve tells all . . .

great story -- thanks

 
At 5/09/2006 8:32 PM, Blogger Da Gal tells all . . .

I'm a dork and can't get those movies to play... I'll have to trust everyone else's responses looks like a beauty.

I'm grateful for you and for meeting you here online.

Be kind to yourself while your hormones surge and even when they don't!

 
At 5/10/2006 8:09 AM, Blogger Gwen tells all . . .

First about you lil film - WOW how cool and I wanted to cry! That was great! How did you do that?

OK second - I am so gald Budda made it. What a touching story.
Thanks for sharing it,
G~

PS - I want a film making lesson!

 
At 5/10/2006 9:39 AM, Blogger Trudging tells all . . .

Awesome story

 
At 5/10/2006 6:06 PM, Blogger Leela tells all . . .

your babies are beautiful! i loved the video, they are very sweet. i moved last year, and had to leave my baby cat with my mom. i still miss him, because he always seemed to love me no matter what!
I'm glad they are both healthy now..
thanks for sharing your story as well and for mentioning my email! sorry i haven't been around so much the past week...
take care! You are wonderful!

 
At 5/10/2006 6:35 PM, Blogger Mary Christine tells all . . .

I'm a dork too. I couldn't get it to play. Also have a message from Big Sky Maack... he can't get into your blog. Sounds like the same problem I was having a week or so ago. He wanted me to let you know.

 
At 5/11/2006 9:38 AM, Blogger BigSkymAAck tells all . . .

Hey I was finally able to get it maybe it was my laptop that I was using on the road. I am really impressed with your ability to make that type of movie and getting it on the blog. I like your gratitude list as well, even though some things suck.

 

Post a Comment

Links to this post:

Create a Link

<< Home