Sober Chick

Here are the unleashed pages of a sober chick in recovery. My journey (date of sobriety) began on June 13th, 2005. For 29 years of my life I was spiritually sick. Emotinally defeated by drunken black-outs, bulimic binging and purging episodes and self-mutilation, I finally surrendered.

Saturday, May 13, 2006

There are no coincidences here!

During the first month or so after asking someone to be my sponsor I felt I knew what was best for me. I was thinking of getting a new one. Why? Because I thought I knew the correct way that I should be sponsored. Her way was not my way. Needless to say I had lots of humility to experience. Wasn't it my best thinking that got me to Alcoholics Anonymous in the first place?

My GOD truly is working miracles in my life. Sometimes I feel sad, hurt, angry etc. This is OK. My negative emotions are not an indication of my progression, or more so the LACK OF progression. I can hurt, I can cry, I can feel like Poop, and I can still grow spiritually.

Drinking and bulimia took a lot of maintenence every day, every hour and every minute. My participation of these behaviors are symptoms of my disease -- a sick spirit. The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonynous does not teach me how to "not drink." It teaches me how to live in the solution, it teaches me how to decompress the EGO so I can live life on life's terms, it shows me how to grow closer to the God of my understanding. Just as I needed to do things to maintain my bulimia and alcoholism, I need to do things to maintain my the sobriety and abstinance from bulimia. My soul needs spiritual medicine.

Yesterday my emotions were off. I was in an EXTEME funk. Action Action Action!!! I picked up my little sober sister and went to a meeting. Ahhh, some relief from self. I woke up and made it to Sunrise this morning. I sat next to a Casa girl (19 days thus far for her, no coincidence here huh?!?) -- she rose her hand and shared. She is so broken she could barely complete a sentence without tears. I got to express some unconditional love towards her. I got to be out of myself. As the meeting continued I got to see her tears turn to laughter. What a miracle to see.

After, I met with my sponsor and we had an astonishing spiritual moment. More release from self. I am thankful that I did not get in God's way early in my recovery and act upon my "OWN PLAN OF RECOVERY."

todAAy i have grAAtitude 4:
*** sponsorship
*** the courage to share my intimate pain with my sponsor.
*** that I can trust, get hurt, and trust again
*** the power discovered of one alcoholic working with another alcoholic
*** Humility
*** the time spent with Alexis last night at Crown City.
*** Old Timers and their message
*** the Newcomer
*** that I got to see Fin take a 6 month chip. I pray that she gets it this time.
*** this is a program NOT of self-pity
*** that I am in love today with a wonderful man; that our relationship has areas of imperfection; that imperfection is ok
*** my Mom's love & Aunt Ona's love & support
*** for you reading my post right now ;) & your support

16 Comments:

At 5/13/2006 6:39 PM, Blogger Trudging tells all . . .

Powerful stuff!

 
At 5/13/2006 8:12 PM, Blogger ~MsManna~ tells all . . .

I so love this blog! The comic is great! I will link with my share for today. I wasn't in a bad mood, just starting to wish things were different. Why? I think I am not being very grateful. For the moment anyway. I had a great day. I love how you list what you are greatful for after your post. I need to do this today...think on those things I am grateful for today...and everyday! Thanks for sharing!

 
At 5/13/2006 8:24 PM, Blogger butterflygirl tells all . . .

Thanks for sharing. Hope you have a wonderful weekend.

 
At 5/13/2006 10:26 PM, Blogger BigSkymAAck tells all . . .

We all need each other the good and the bad of us so that we can see where we have been and where we want to go. I like where you are going it has touched my heart.

 
At 5/14/2006 6:54 AM, Blogger Scott tells all . . .

glad ya got thru yer funky, those can really suck somttimes...

happy Mother's Day!!!

peace to you

 
At 5/15/2006 5:59 PM, Blogger Shannon tells all . . .

I SO LOVE THAT POSTER and would love to hang it in the hall!

 
At 5/15/2006 6:03 PM, Blogger Gwen tells all . . .

Today is a day that is like connect the dots! I just wrote my version of poetry about my sponsor. How cool you had that astonishing spiritual moment. GOD BLESS

 
At 5/16/2006 5:32 AM, Blogger Designer Girl tells all . . .

WOW!! That post blows me away. Thanks so much for your honesty and vulnerability. And, thanks, too, for your encouragement.

 
At 5/16/2006 11:51 AM, Blogger Christine tells all . . .

Love the cartoon.

When I was in a very black space my sponsor's spnsor left a message for me to "get back in the boat"
I'm so glad I did.

 
At 5/16/2006 12:03 PM, Blogger Lex-Sunshine tells all . . .

awesome share!!! Thank you so much for suiting up and showing up and blogging!

 
At 5/16/2006 12:25 PM, Blogger sirreene tells all . . .

You are on the right track. Step slowly and carefully.

 
At 5/16/2006 8:22 PM, Blogger lash505 tells all . . .

Usually a meeting is all it takes to get me out of a funk.

 
At 5/17/2006 6:31 PM, Blogger Da Gal tells all . . .

this is exactly what I needed to read. I have not made any time for blogging lately so tonight I decided to visit all of my recovering bloggers. Now I am full of experience, strength, and hope. Thank you soberchick!

 
At 5/17/2006 10:19 PM, Blogger BigSkymAAck tells all . . .

So have you gone away or what no new postings?

 
At 5/18/2006 7:00 AM, Blogger NMAMFQLMSH tells all . . .

Awesome grateful list. All those feeling are normal....well I hope they are because I go through the same thing.
I see you,
JJ

 
At 5/19/2006 10:11 PM, Blogger Bar Bar A tells all . . .

I just found you through Butterfly girl and I am just floored by what you are writing here because I am just starting my journey into recovery and feel very lost and unsure. I think AA is a miracle program and I want it...I want to do it...but it's hard to find a group for my specific issue so I go to AA meetings and try to relate it to my addiction. Sorry to ramble on your comments, I just wanted you to know this had a huge impact on me. I'm going to go read more now!

 

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