Sober Chick

Here are the unleashed pages of a sober chick in recovery. My journey (date of sobriety) began on June 13th, 2005. For 29 years of my life I was spiritually sick. Emotinally defeated by drunken black-outs, bulimic binging and purging episodes and self-mutilation, I finally surrendered.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Made the Appointment

Feeling beautiful . . .

. . . then it gets ripped from me. Nothing has changed but everything has changed. I am so tired of these "moods." I am baffled that I cannot control them. Many of my people suffer from depression, a chemical imbalance. I was on Paxil my late teens for depression and bulimia. I took myself off. It did not help.

Today I understand more about me. I have been through so much therapy and it has been suggested many times to get evaluated again. I have avoided it because of my experience in the past. However, I have a better understanding of who I am through AA and OA. This and my spiritual growth has helped tremendous, but I am thrown by the abrupt mood changes.

10 years later I want to explore the possibilty of medication. Today I have a head full of AA (and Dr. Drew). Yes, I am dealing with life on life's terms, but there is something within that switches the light off/on with my mental state. The great thing is that I can "try" this different solution. If it does not work then I can stop or accept that I am just plain crazy. LOL.

I am interested in anyone's thoughts about this -- anti-depressants and such. I know many oppose to the idea but I'd still like to know of your opinions. Thanks for being here all!

8 Comments:

At 3/16/2006 7:06 PM, Blogger Tab tells all . . .

Hi Sober Chick,
Don't give up your mission to sanity!Doing some of your own research on med's may help you ?
Its great you are such an open person,you have a huge ray of light pouring through this blog!
Thanks for sharing ~

 
At 3/16/2006 7:40 PM, Blogger Redhead Gal tells all . . .

Antidepressants are no crime, but I guess they aren't a panacea either. They have helped me for a few years now. Before I took them, I was either angry or felt nothing. Now is better.

 
At 3/16/2006 8:05 PM, Blogger Gwen tells all . . .

Hey Sober Chick,
I had to start on medication in my twelfth year of sobriety. It has been a couple years now and I am OK. No need to use. The first pill took me an hour to take. My husband (also sober) sat next to me with it in his palm - I would pick it up and put it back down. I was so scared to take the medication. I come from a AA background that viewed any type of medication as bad. Things are much different today with all the new medications. I did do a ton of reading, asking questions to safe people and research. I have watched so many between 10-15 years start to break down mentally.I have learned ....
Thank God we HAVE these medications that are safe. We do not have to suffer.

Good luck on your journey.
Namaste,
Gwen R.
TwelveBeads

 
At 3/17/2006 7:47 AM, Blogger NMAMFQLMSH tells all . . .

Hey Chick - if you send me your e-mail address I'll share my experience with what I am going through with you.
I see you,
JJ

 
At 3/17/2006 12:28 PM, Blogger Trudging tells all . . .

Don't give up!!

 
At 3/17/2006 5:21 PM, Blogger Mary Christine tells all . . .

I don't usually offer this kind of advice, but you asked... so forgive me if I am being an advice giver. My suggestion is to get through all twelve steps first and see how you feel.

 
At 3/20/2006 5:08 PM, Blogger Tab tells all . . .

Just checking in again to say hi and see how you are feeling today:)

 
At 3/22/2006 9:11 AM, Blogger Scott tells all . . .

funny, i was going to mention this in the post above... I just began treatment for my thyroid (hypothyroidism can cause depression symptoms including the inability to lose weight, have your thyroid checked). I also (against my better judgement he he) started on Zoloft. I have been wondering to myself for years if I have some minor depression. I talked to my MD over the summer, he suggested St. John's Wort: no reaction, still struggled. In January, he put me on the thyroid meds and the Zoloft. I can definitely see a change in my moods/feelings, etc. I don't seem to get as low as I used to, I don't seem to express my anger as outwardly as before. I still get upset or mad, but I dont go off the deep end like I used to. It's sort of evened out my moods... It took over a month for me to notice the change, but it has helped. I was so dead set against drugs to treat my moods (being an addict and all, spiritual solution, etc). But, I am glad I trusted my doc and my HP and gave this a try. So far, a day at a time, I feel better. If you want to chit chat further about this, email me: scottf@nktelco.net

 

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