Ouch
I am reading some of these blogs and am being forced to get honest. I don't think I can be honest sometimes. I have to walk around with a smile on my face being unaffected by life's daily events. I don't curse or vent so when something little happens, I flip out. Do I have to do this? This is what I know, how I have trained myself to be.
Today something little happened but it threw me. I was so upset I embedded my nails into my forearm. I did not know any other way. This terrifies me, what happens when LIFE really shows up. What do I do with my anger? I am a walking timebomb.
8 Comments:
I am all too familiar with that walk around with that smile on your face thing.
I see you,
JJ
Pray, Pray, Pray and then Pray some more. God will do for you what you cannot do for yourself.
Walking time bomb is not good.
Acupuncture and long walks help me.
I hope you will find what you need to help soothe your soul right now.
Thanks for sharing & Take Care ~
Walking time bomb is not good.
Acupuncture and long walks help me.
I hope you will find what you need to help soothe your soul right now.
Thanks for sharing & Take Care ~
get to a meeting fast! You don't have to do this alone Sober chick.
Take care, Meg
Pray and get to a meeting
hey you! I am one of those peeps who simply cannot stuff stuff... I am a bit of a "reactor." The funny thing about me is that I can deal with the big stuff better than I can the everyday little things. Even at 10+ yrs sober, I still have to deal with my anger carefully so, in this regard, you are sooooo not alone. Lately, with all the insanity happening in my life, I have begun blogging, been going to more meetings, a new sponsee found me, been sharing with newcomers. I have even been playing my horn again (very spiritual thing for me), and even attending church (if you only knew me well, what a piece of growth that is!) The result of all this has been fewer and less severe blowups. Oh, and in the interest of honesty, I had better mention that I mentioned my "depressive/angry" streaks to my MD and I am now on anti-depression meds and we discovered I have a thyroid condition, so we're treating that. All in all, I am doin' better... not great, not perfect, but much better. Sorry to leave a book on your blog!
I love books! :)
I love all of you and your support. I am blessed in so many ways, thank you!
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