Sober Chick

Here are the unleashed pages of a sober chick in recovery. My journey (date of sobriety) began on June 13th, 2005. For 29 years of my life I was spiritually sick. Emotinally defeated by drunken black-outs, bulimic binging and purging episodes and self-mutilation, I finally surrendered.

Monday, July 17, 2006

Dz of Perception; Still in God's Workshop!

Yee-Ha! Whaataaa, it's time like this when sober action rocks!!! Ieeeeeeeee-yA!

We are people that simply cannot "think" ourselves right. Our actions prove to be the key to change our perception. That perception has driven me time and time again to seek something -- the default has been with alcohol, food and cutting. However at the age of 29 I discovered something greater than these, something greater than myself . . . slowly my sick perception has begun to change. I am still in God's workshop however . . .

I look into the mirror and can get completely overwhelmed by all the imperfections I see. I have to work so hard to change these negative illusions that I have allowed to define my existance. I can look at others and appreciate their completeness, each physical characteristic elegantly placed that makes them so beautiful. Why do I struggle so much with my own delusional state I see in that mirror?

Because I am self absorbed . . . I am not giving up, I fight so I won't have to fight.

Friday night I spent the evening in a new AA meeting. I picked up 2 of my sober sisters and off we went. We all laughed so much, allowing our souls to heal. The meeting itself was so powerful, there were a few there that were so close to drinking that night, but attended the meeting instead. Thank you GOD for this Fellowship. Thank you for the newcomer.

i embrAAce grAAtitude as such:

~ the SIA meeting Saturday morning
~ Women's stag on Sunday, and the strong sobriety there.
~ The newcomer at the Women's Stag on Sunday and her newfound discovery of being a part of
~ Judy H, Alice & April
~ Mel & Alexis: for teaching me how to be a friend, allowing trust with each other and that I can get completely honest with them
~ the chair commitment I got for tomorrow's OA meeting
~ Mitch and our growth together
~ Olive, Boo Bear, Asia, Budda & Nicodemus
~ the telephone conversation with my Mom today
~ the email I got of congrats on my sober birthday from my grandparents in Arizona (my dad's parents, my dad is still out there lost)
~ email conversations from my fellow blogging peeps Scott & Diego.
~ this program is of spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection
~ my slip of the bulimia, that I know only strength will be borne from the BP rituals
~ This blogging community that has grown since I have been here.

*** 1 year and just over 1 month of sobriety***

13 Comments:

At 7/17/2006 10:19 PM, Blogger Rex tells all . . .

Great post, thanks for sharing. Noce gratitude list. Congrtas on 1 year and 1 month.

 
At 7/17/2006 11:24 PM, Blogger lash505 tells all . . .

That cool going to a new meeting and walking out with friends laughing.

 
At 7/18/2006 1:35 AM, Blogger Trudging tells all . . .

Sounds like a good meeting

 
At 7/18/2006 3:51 AM, Blogger NMAMFQLMSH tells all . . .

And we have become one kickass blogging community. I'm still in my HP's workshop and will be for a long time - like forever.
Remember sista progress not perfection.
I see you,
JJ
PS: I love that picture

 
At 7/18/2006 4:05 AM, Blogger Scott tells all . . .

big sober hugs atcha SC! I can so relate to that face in the mirror, great pic, again! I have to learn to accept me as I am... humility allows me to have failings, shortcomings, etc. God didn't make any junk! To judge myself, and criticize myself is to criticize God's handiwork, ruh roh... I can really relate to what you're saying here... I too have to be careful...

Thanks for the brutally honest blog, as usual, and thanks for taking the time to chit chat via email and for leavning such thoughtful comments on my blog...

peace to you!

 
At 7/18/2006 7:19 AM, Blogger Christine tells all . . .

I can relate to distorted perceptions.
Wouldn't it be great if I tell you that you are beautiful and you believe me and you tell me and I believe you?

You are beautiful--and I only kinda know what you 'look' like--its your insides I cherish most

 
At 7/18/2006 1:55 PM, Blogger Katy tells all . . .

WOW! You know I get goose pimples every time I read your words??? Well at the risk of repeating myself, I do!!!

I've been away for awhile for various reasons... But I've been trying to really keep up on reading my pals posts'. I know you've had a couple rocky moments lately but I can see that it's brought with it the gifts that always seem to come when we're at our weakest. Took me awhile to learn that one, but boy am I grateful because you helped me learn.

You are one of the most wonderful & spiritual people I've ever met... I don't know if its that separated at birth thing or what, but I feel like I just get you and have such an understanding of your heart. I have grown so much from you... I grow from your struggles, from your victories, from your pain, and from your joy... From your humor and from your love. Thank you SC, from the bottom of my heart... Just for being you!

Much Love.

 
At 7/18/2006 2:26 PM, Blogger Shannon tells all . . .

You are soo beautiful Sober Chic! hugs
thanks for sharing this.. I too am still in God's workshop

 
At 7/18/2006 8:51 PM, Blogger Sober @ Sundown tells all . . .

Just wait, when you get my age, you look in the mirror, and can't see anything........... All the things, well, most of the things that I use to obsess about seem to unimportant....

 
At 7/18/2006 8:56 PM, Blogger butterflygirl tells all . . .

You are a beautiful person, not only on the inside, but also the OUT!!! Keep God in your heart.

 
At 7/18/2006 9:36 PM, Blogger Mary Christine tells all . . .

Thanks for always taking the risk to share honestly. I appreciate you SC.

 
At 7/19/2006 12:35 PM, Blogger Diego tells all . . .

Hi SC, I am glad that you are who you are and I think you are such a gentle soul......Thank you for your wise words and for showing courage...... love Diego

 
At 7/22/2006 2:12 PM, Blogger Gwen tells all . . .

Amen to thank yous for the newcomer. Great post Chicky ;)

 

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