Sober Chick

Here are the unleashed pages of a sober chick in recovery. My journey (date of sobriety) began on June 13th, 2005. For 29 years of my life I was spiritually sick. Emotinally defeated by drunken black-outs, bulimic binging and purging episodes and self-mutilation, I finally surrendered.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Eats gets worse, never better . . .

I got to get out of myself. When my mind is left to its own devices, watch out! I am sober, 129 days taht is. This is my first time in recovery, and I know I have the disease. I am a real alcoholic, with the mental obsession and a physical allergy to alcohol. I know the problem now, and am so thakful that it is not "will=power" that is my remedy. No, my solution is spiritual -- never would I have imagined I would call out and trust a God to my understanding.

I seek a spiritual experience, so that I can share and give it away. They promise that this will keep me sober and happy victories I will walk, never alone.

Because my Dz is centered in my mind alcohol is only a symptom. My Dz supports others, 2 ugly beast -- bulimia and self mutilation. I had a slip of my bulimia just over 3 weeks ago. For once in my life I am not shameful to say what is going on and that I need help. I would battle this alone and beat it every time. My eating is miserable. When I am abstinant it is ALL about control and you know how Happy that makes us -- smirk.

This is it, my journey in recover. I battle to keep my sobriety and win abstinance. Self mutilation, another beast, but One Day at a Time, One Symptom At a Time!! Haha. I am still love with life, and Thank You God for giving me this day.

I speak the truth, it is time . . .

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